男子识破了来自女友的伎俩，纠结要不要分手...网友：这种事儿能忍？？

一直觉得吧，情侣关系中，其实很忌讳其中一方故意隐瞒一些事情，来对另一方进行所谓的“考验”。健康正向的爱情，一定是以互相信任为基础，不会让人做出这么幼稚的事情。

最近，Reddit上一哥们儿非常纠结痛苦，因为他识破了自己女友所谓考验他的行为，让他觉得非常屈辱、被愚弄，于是发帖求助，询问网友们的意见。

我正在考虑离开我的女朋友，因为她愚弄了我。

原帖：

我和女友在一起两年了。我一直认为她温柔善良，也非常感激她对我深深的爱。虽然她偶尔会有些小嫉妒，但我从未觉得这是大问题。说实话，甚至可能有点享受这种被在乎的感觉——这让我感到自己很有魅力，而这种感觉我以前从未有过。

最近我们参加了我公司的聚会，遇到了一位女同事。她在不同分部工作，我们除了工作邮件和电话外几乎没联系过，但相处还算融洽。这是我女友第一次（也是唯一一次）见到这位同事。返程途中和次日，女友表现得有些异常——她不断询问关于我"工作cp"的事，反复确认我觉得那位同事是否漂亮，还问了许多关于她的事。我知道女友容易吃醋，便尽力安抚：她不是我的工作cp，我没有关注她的任何社交账号，连私人号码都没有，也不觉得她比女友更美，我对现状很满足等等。女友似乎放松下来，生活回归正轨。

几周后，我突然在Instagram（我的账号是私密状态）收到那位同事的关注请求。我通过后回关了她（她的账号也是私密的）。她的主页几乎全是最近上传的泳装照，虽不算暴露只是普通度假照，但整个账号除了泳装照别无他物。当时觉得有点奇怪但也没在意。几天后她开始在私信里闲聊，我礼貌回复但绝无暧昧（在我看来）。之后她每隔几天就找我聊天，渐渐开始有些暧昧暗示。我明确表示这样不妥，强调自己已有稳定恋情，希望保持专业关系，她当时表示理解。

之后几天女友变得异常温柔，虽然当时没察觉异样，但各位应该能猜到后续发展。那段时间我很开心，甚至感觉女友的嫉妒心有所改善。然而上周，我的IG突然收到推荐关注——正是那位同事的公开账号。浏览后发现这才是她真实账号，之前的泳装照只是她正常生活照的一部分。至此我终于将线索串联起来。

在对质前，我先找那位同事核实了她的IG账号——她给的是这个公开账号，且没有任何我们曾在IG互动的迹象，证实了我被"钓鱼"的事实。面对质问，女友先是全盘否认，当我委婉暗示时又改口说是恶作剧、测试，还说因曾被出轨才需要确认可信度。我指出信任本该是相互的，现在反而让我如何再信任她？她辩称这不合逻辑，不断转移话题，甚至反问我"如果没出轨怎会识破身份"。我表示这种操控手段很不公平，需要冷静就回家了。此后她不停发信息打电话，指责我"为小事毁掉感情""反应过度"，威胁说"等明白她多爱我时就晚了"，说我"为个贱人抛弃一切"很不公平——这些说辞让我觉得她完全没意识到错误本质。

现在我很矛盾：是该果断分手，还是再给机会？毕竟我们有过两年美好时光。但经过这种事，信任真的还能重建吗？

简而言之：女友冒充同事在IG钓鱼测试我，且拒绝道歉。

上下滑动查看↓

Me & my GF have been together for 2 years. I always thought she was very sweet and kind, and I really appreciate how much she loves me. And while she sometimes got a little jealous, I didn't think it was a big deal. Hell, maybe I even enjoyed being doted on like that. It made me feel really attractive, which I never really felt I was.

Recently we attended a work event organized by my company, and we met one of my co-workers there. She works at a different branch and we hardly ever talk outside of work emails and calls, but we get along well enough. This event was my GFs first (and only) time meeting this coworker. On the way back from the event, and the following day, my GF was acting a little weird – she kept asking me about a "work wife", and asking fi I thought that co-worker was pretty, and other stuff about her. I knew my GF could get kinda jealous and I did my best to calm her down – no that woman isn't my work wife, I don't follow her on any socials, I don't even have her personal phone number. I don't think she's more beautiful than my GF and I am happy with my GF etc. and she seemed to relax, and thigns got back to normal.

A few weeks later, out of nowhere, I got a follow request on IG (my account is private) from my co-worker. I approved and followed back (her account is also private). That account was almost nothing but a few pictures of her in swimsuits, uploaded very recently (I haven't checked at the time and didn't really scroll her account at all). It didn't look like anything overtly sexy, just normal vacation pics, but there was nothing BUT vacation pics. It seemd weird but I didn't really care. Then a few days later she DMed me on IG. It was just small talk and I replied, but it wasn't flirty or anything (IMO). She kept reaching out every few days, and eventually it DID seem to get kinda flirty. I told her this felt inappropriate and I was in a relationship, and I'd appreciate if we kept things professional, which she seemed okay with.

My GF seemed extra affectionate the days after that, and while I didn't suspect anything in real time, you can all probably see exactly where this is going. Still, at the time I was happy, and my GF even seemed to be better regarding her jealousy. But then, last week, I got a follow recommendation on my IG – it was my co-worker's account. This one wasn't private, and was just a normal IG account, and looking through it – that was where those swimsuit pics came from, here they were just a part of her normal IG account which contained mostly normal pics, and not just swimsuit ones. I then put 2+2 together.

Before confronting my GF, I talked to that co-worker at work, and asked for her IG account – and she gave me her normal one, which I followed, and indeed she gave no indication that we ever interacted on IG before. So it became clear I WAS being catfished. I confronted my GF then, and at first when I was trying to be subtle, she denied everything outright. Then she shifted to gaslighting me about it and saying it was just a prank, or that it was a test, or that because she was cheated on before she just needed to know that she could trust me. I told her that her being able to trust me was great, but how am I supposed to trust her now? She said that made no sense, and kept deflecting no matter how I tried to explain, going so far as to question how I even knew it was her if I wasn't cheating on her with my co-worker. I told her that this was unfair and manipulative, and that I needed some time and went home. She's been texting and calling since, saying that I'm ruining a great relationship over nothing, I'm overreacting and that when I finally realize how much she loves me it might be too late, and it's not fair for me to throw everything we built out "over some skank", but that just feels incredibly manipulative to me, and like she doesn't get what she did wrong AT ALL.

So... I'm conflicted between wanting to just cut and run and giving it another go? After all we have been happy together for 2 years. But also, can trust be rebuilt after something like this?

Tl;dr - my gf pretended to be my co-worker on IG to catfish me as some sort of prank/test, and refuses to apologize.

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图片来自boredpanda，版权属于原作者

评论区高赞回答是这样说的。

我永远无法原谅有人以这种方式破坏我的信任。她这样做时完全不计后果——你甚至可能因此向人力资源部门举报你的同事——这本身就显示出极其糟糕的判断力，更不用说其中暴露出的其他明显问题。

这很可能不是她在这段关系中唯一一次疯狂举动，也绝不会是最后一次。

帖主回复了这条评论。

虽然她之前确实没做过这种程度的出格行为，但显然早有端倪。只是因为我从未觉得自己多有魅力，有人如此痴迷地爱着我实在令人沉醉——现在想来，这其中很大部分是我自身需要解决的心理问题，而这段感情也显然不像我曾以为的那么美好......

看了一圈评论区，没有帮帖主女友说话的，大家都希望帖主可以意识到，这件事暴露出了他女友身上的病态，以及极强的控制欲。

我不得不回去查她的年龄……29岁做这个太离谱了。欺骗是对信任的违背，她的所作所为也是如此。她为了得到她想要的东西而欺骗你。

你在原文中说"她能信任你真是太好了"。但问题的症结在于——她并不信任你。信任不等于监控。

举个极端例子：如果她能在你身上安装24小时直播摄像头，自然可以"信任"你！但那不是信任，那是对行踪的全盘掌握。

每个人都有可能在关系中出轨，每个人。真正的信任，是相信伴侣不会伤害你，而不是用谎言设局试探。两年了，她对你依然缺乏信任。

我理解你为什么觉得“她这么喜欢你”所以很高兴，但这里的风险是你错误地把她的嫉妒看成是健康的感情。这不仅仅是她喜欢你，她被你迷住了，觉得她占有了你，不会承认自己的任何错误，因为她觉得她的嫉妒是优先考虑的。

她说你为了一个荡妇而放弃了这段感情——更准确地说，你在考虑保护自己不受某人的伤害，因为她现在已经明确表示你们的关系并不安全。

如果她能够承担责任并调节自己的情绪，这段关系可能是可以挽回的（就个人而言，我仍然无法克服这一点，因为这是严重的侵犯），但她只是为自己的行为辩护，拒绝从你的角度来看。

对我来说，她认为你是她的延伸，而不是一个有自己的想法和感受的人。

翻了翻原帖，没有看到后续。

距离发帖时间已经过去9天了，大概帖主还在处理这段感情叭...

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